finding motivation

6/11/12

I just returned from a friends wedding in Puerto Villarta.  why am i writing a post? because i need to find that desire once again and somehow get back into training. im miserable while im not in a healthy routine. don't get me wrong that trip was the time of my life, and i should be writing a race report about the trip because it was more exhausting then any race i've ever done.

my 8 week "break" was planned for over a year now. my sole focus was Zane grey this spring. i knew i had this wedding plus bachelor festivities so i didn't want to mess with training for a summer race this year.  i also knew once i got back that my CR100 training would begin and i figured a big break would do me good.  by break i mean run when i feel like it and nothing more.  i ran 80 miles a couple weekends ago but that was mainly because it was memorial day weekend and i wanted to have fun and take a break from work so i hit a good trail each day.  besides that week i maybe averaged 20 miles per week the rest of them. 

while on the trip people kept asking me about running and i felt so horrible at the time from all the alcohol that i felt guilty even calling myself a runner.  i packed on some lbs, had a gut, and would've been lucky to make it a mile while out there. i believe in balance and i wanted to live a greasy food and alcohol filled life for a while to remind myself how good running makes you feel.

back to the motivation issue...i figured it would be a good idea to post my training schedule on this and update it after each long run.  ever since i got into running i've never believed it "schedules" i only jot down what i want to accomplish each long run. it helps me to see it on paper and helps me visualize how long i've got until race day.  im also looking for any sort of motivation right now to get me focused.

i haven't weighed in two months and im guessing im 180-185ish.  thats up 20 from zane grey and i plan on getting the leanest i've ever been for cactus this year. (155-160) why do i obsess with that race so much. because i love goals that you truly have to bring yourself to the next level to achieve. in 2007 when i was currently a 4 hour marathoner and i decided to go for a sub 3:10, it took me 2 1/2 years to finally run a 3:08 at white rock and to this date that my favorite finish lines. i was more pumped then when i finished my first ultra, first 50 or even my first 100. this will be two year since i made this goal so when it does happen it will be pretty sweet.

i have four trails that i call my stomping grounds.  they are unique in their own way and i go to them for different reasons.

1. cedar ridge preserve. tough trail that i run for time. steep ups and downs with fair amount of roots and rocks. lots of twist and turns which calls for slower pace. usual pace while out there is 9-10 minute miles.

2. big cedar. even more twist and turns with lots of small ups and downs that aren't quite as steep. the smoothest trail out of  the four but probably the slowest pace of the four due to the turns.  usually go here to change things up when needed. don't have much goals with this places since it it constantly changing.

3. cleburne st park - my long run place. the outer loops is a great running loop with minimal turns and lots of rocks and constant ups and downs. mainly average about a 9 minute pace but every now and then i'll throw down a loop as fast as i can. currently my record out there is a 43:30 run with matt crownover on 5/5/12. im scared to try and beat that because it was painful!

4. sansom park. last but not least. my true cactus training grounds.  it has some super steep and rugged hill sprints that will whip your ass. last year i would do either 1 or 2 miles on a given hill and time it. but this year i run the red loop and every time i come across a "fishermen trail" i run the whole things up and down and then proceed with my usual run without stopping.  i hit every single one and it is one hell of an eight mile loop. (that eight miles is solely on the left side and nothing on the right lone wolf side) so those who know sansom, know how hard it is to cram eight miles into that one red loop. the loop is about 4 miles so that means i add about an additional 4 miles of hill sprints each loop.

6/16/12 weekend - hit 20 miles somewhere. just need to have a focused week and get back into it.

actual - did 19.5 at cedar ridge then 3 up to the gym that night. run felt so so. still heavy but felt better and better. averaged about 10:30 pace. took it easy.



6/23/12 - pace final 38 at WS100. goal is to get matt doelman in safely and onto his next grand slam adventure healthy!
actual - paced forrest hill - in. the experience of western lit a fire in my ass and i've been focused since. i was really getting worried if i lost my interest in running. ran to the top of emigrant pass and back on friday. beautiful.



6/30/12 - 25-30 at either sansom or big cedar.

actual - did about 26 1/2 miles at big cedar. felt great finally. felt stronger and stonger. guessing about a 10:15 pace? garmins suck on trails especially twisty ones like big cedar.



7/7/12 - cedar ridge mid afternoon (hot and no people) 5 loops (28 miles) alternating direction. in under 4:10 (not stopping watch for water refills between loops)

actual - worst i've felt in a long time. first time to cut a run short in a long time. if i cut a run short its for the better. my legs were burning just getting out of bed this morning so i knew it was going to suck. sure enough a mile into it my legs felt horrible. did 4 loops instead of 5 in 3:40 which is averaging a minute per mile slower then goal. hopefully my legs "get fresh" again. it was pretty bad.  looked back at last year and the pace wasn't much different then a lot of runs last year so i need to not be quite as hard on myself. will be better next time!




7/14/12 - sansom 25 miles of hills

actual - only ran twice this week to let my legs get fresh again and it paid off. did over 26 miles at sansom and felt solid the whole time. enjoyed it. my route at sansom is a true ass kicker and it was no different today. will see how the week goes and decide thursdayish if im going to "the shoe" on saturday. if not i'll do 5-6 loops at cleburne and try and keep all loops under 50 min.



7/21/12 - mule shoe bend 60k. goal is to run sub 5:45 (did 5:54 last year)

actual - ran a 5:59. a little slower then desired. legs felt very good but stomach hurt entire time. satisfied considering the problems i had. legs felt better this year despite 5 minute slower time.



7/28/12 - cedar ridge 36k. goal is to run sub 3:15 (8:45 pace)

actual - did  a 3:35. ran minute per mile slower. felt a lot like my 7/7 run that sucked. race was fun but it was just flat out a bad run. everybody has them and i didn't rest enough and went out too fast so i have no one to blame but myself.



8/4/12 - sansom hills. about 20ish

actual - did 20 miles at big cedar friday evening and 25 miles at sansom on sunday to end a 110 mile week. taking it easy didn't work so i ran 65 miles during the week and 45 miles on the weekend. and everything felt great! didn't have much of a life though between working about 60-70 hours plus running.  i realized how beat up my shoes are because i ran in minimus my last loop at sansom and they felt every bit as cushioned as my normal shoes.




8/11/12 - break week in training. going to float the river.

actual - well wasn't really a break week considering i only took 3 days off, but still managed about 60 miles. hit big cedar wed night and cleburne thursday night. enjoyed fnishing up with a headlamp to change things up.  weekend i floated the river and consumed plenty of cerveza.





8/18/12 - cleburne. 6 loops. (33 1/2 miles) in under 4:55 total time without stopping watch for water refills.

actual - finally i hit a goal and felt solid! getting worried if i was every going to start hitting my goals. did 6 loops in 4:53:38. splits - 48:54, 48:39, 48:51, 48:36, 49:22, 49:13.  austust has been a pretty high milage month and it has felt great. very solid training run and a confidence booster.



8/25/12 - sansom hills. about 30 miles total.

actual - with cannon's party on saturday, i hit sansom friday night and big cedar sunday. did about 23 miles at each. saturday was feeling the fatigue from sansom. still such an ass whip out there.  big cedar finished off my 102 mile week and felt good.



9/1/12 - reville ranch 60k. goal is have a solid race. know nothing about course so no time goal.

actual - had a soft goal of 5:45 and was able to pace myself and hit it on the dot. solid race and legs never faded one bit. satisfied.



9/8/12 - sansom hills. about 20ish

actual - did about 25-26 total miles. kept track of distance spent on the "fishermen trails" for my hill sprints. did about 5 miles worth for about 3,200 +/- elevation gain and loss. felt better climbing then i have all year. hopefully thats a sign for next weekends rusty crown adventures! fell a record 5 times though and one time was bad and my knee hurts like hell today from the fall.



9/15/12 - glen rose 40m. goal is to run a solid 40 miles with close to even splits and not walking period.

actual - did negative splits. ran a 6:02. rusty crown was tougher then i thought so it was slower, but i ran the flats way better then planned so i consider a good race definately.



9/22/12 - new mexico

actual - did about 60 miles total for the three days. lots at elevation



9/29/12 - longest run. 45 at cleburn. 8 outer loops. no stopping watch at all. no walking at all. all loops (even with water refills) under 50 minutes. so 8 loops (44 1/2 miles) in 6:40. then haul ass back home for my friends wedding.

actual - ended up being about 43 1/2 miles due to small section being closed due to construction. ran a 6:28 so i consider it equal at the very least. didnt feel too good my last two loops but still never walked and kept total average pace at 9 minute miles. ran it about 30 minutes faster then last year so im pumped.



10/6/12 - pace mr. crownover at the AT100

actual - paced him about the last 40 miles or so. went good.



10/13/12 - probably 20ish at sansom friday night then helping with the run mansfield run 5k race sat.

actual - hit 21 at big cedar wed night and 20 at sansom friday night like planned. set up and ran the turn around aid station at the run mansfield run 5k like a pro on saturday. got in an easy 13.4 miles on sunday on the roads.



10/20/12 - final 12.5 mile out-n-back at cedar ridge.

actual - first time back since the race in july. i got burnt out on this place after 5-6 horrible runs in a row out there. finally overcame it with a solid run. did the same 12.5 mile out n back for the third year in a row the week before cactus. did it in 1:56 which is a tad over 9 min pace. felt good. training complete. now for mental preperations and getting any negative thoughts out and going into this race convinced i can do this.



10/27/12 - Cactus Rose 100 - goal is to follow my pace chart and hit 19:20 at the slowest.

actual - ran a 19:18:31. was ahead of pace chart almost all day until about mile 90 with it started to catch up to me. at mile 94 i had to dig deep to make it happen. one hell of a race. can't believe i met this goal set 2 years ago.